FIGHT CLUB
Final Script

Based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk

Screenplay by Jim Uhls

Redone by The Weekend Game

TYLER' s hand holds a HANDGUN with barrel lodged in JACK'S MOUTH.  Jack is sitting on a chair. They are both sweating and disheveled, both around 30; Tyler is blond, handsome (we can't see Tyler's face yet, only his body moving); and Jack, brunette, is appealing in a dry sort of way.

JACK (V.O.)
People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.

TYLER
Three minutes. This is it: Ground zero. Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?

JACK
...i...ann....iinn..ff...nnyin....

JACK (V.O.)
With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.

Tyler removes the gun from Jack's mouth.

JACK
I can't think of anything.

JACK (V.O.)
For a second I totally forgot about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing and I wonder how clean that gun is.

Tyler approaches the window so that he can see down --31 stories. 

TYLER
Getting exciting now.

JACK (V.O.)
That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways.

JACK (V.O.)
We have front row seats for this theater of Mass Destruction. The Demolitions Committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of a dozen buildings with blasting gelatin. In two minutes, primary charges will blow base charges, and a few square blocks will be reduced to smoldering rubble. I know this, because Tyler knows this.

Tyler looks at his watch.

TYLER
Two and a half. Think of everything we've accomplished.

JACK (V.O)
And suddenly I realize that all of this: the gun the bombs, the revolution...has got something to do with a girl named Marla Singer.

PULL BACK from Jack's face. It's pressed against TWO LARGE BREASTS that belong to...BOB, 45, a moose of a man. Jack is engulfed by Bob in an intense embrace. Bob weeps openly.

JACK (V.O.)
Bob. Bob had bitch tits.

PULL BACK TO WIDE ON...

INT. CHURCH MEETING ROOM - NIGHT

Men are paired off, hugging, talking in emotional tones. Near the door, a SIGN on a stand: "REMAINING MEN TOGETHER."

JACK (V.O.)
This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me...that was Bob.

BOB
We're still men.

JACK
Yes, we're men. Men is what we are.

JACK (V.O.)
Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit--

BOB
They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid.

Bob hugs tighter.

JACK (V.O.)
Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.

Bob looks with empathy into Jack's eyes.

BOB
Okay. You cry now.

JACK (V.O.)
No, wait. Back up. Let me start earlier.

INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jack lies in bed, staring at the ceiling.

JACK (V.O.)
For six months...I couldn't sleep.

INT. COPY ROOM - DAY

Echo " I couldn't sleep...I couldn't sleep...I couldn't sleep..."
Jack, sleepy, stands over a copy machine. His Starbucks cup sits on the lid, moving back and forth as the machine copies.

JACK (V.O.)
With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy, of a copy, of a copy.

Other people make copies, all with Starbucks cups, sipping.

INT. JACK'S OFFICE - SAME

Jack's P.O.V. : A bin full of newspapers, Starbucks cup and FAST FOOD GARBAGE.

JACK (V.O.)
When deep space exploration ramps up, it will be corporations that name everything: The IBM Stellar Sphere. The Microsoft Galaxy. Planet Starbucks.

Jack, sipping stares blankly as his BOSS enters, Starbucks cup in hand, and hands a stack of reports.

BOSS
Gonna need you out-of-town a little more this week. We've got some "red-flags" to cover.

JACK (V.O.)
It must've been Tuesday. He was wearing his "cornflower-blue" tie.

JACK
(listless management speak)
You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade?

BOSS
Make these your primary "action items". Here are your flight coupons. Call me from the road if there are any snags.

Jack's boss slides the stack of reports on Jack's desk and leaves.

JACK (V.O.)
He was full of pep. Must've had his grande latte enema.

INT. BATHROOM - JACK'S CONDO - NIGHT

Jack sits on the toilet, CORDLESS PHONE to his ear, flips through an IKEA catalog. There's a stack of old PLAYBOY magazines and other catalogs nearby.

JACK (V.O.)
Like so many others, I had become a slave to the IKEA nesting instinct.

JACK
(into phone)
Yes, I'd like to order the Erika Peccary dust ruffles...

OPERATOR (V.O.)
Please hold.

Jack drops the catalog on the floor.

MOVE IN ON CATALOG - ON PHOTO of COFFEE TABLE SET...

JACK (V.O.)
If I saw something clever like coffee table sin the shape of a yin and yang, I had to have it.

INT. LIVING ROOM / DINING AREA / KITCHEN

JACK (V.O.)
The Klipske personal office unit, the Hovertrekke home exer-bike. Or the Johannshamnh sofa with the Strinne green stripe pattern...

The office unit APPEARS. Then the exer-bike APPEARS.

JACK (V.O.)
Even the Rislampa wire lamps of environmentally-friendly unbleached paper.

THE LAMP APPEARS. PAN OVER to wall...

JACK (V.O.)
I would flip through catalogs and wonder "what kind of dining set defines me as a person?"

A dining room set APPEARS. Jack, the cordless phone still glued to his ear, walks INTO FRAME and continues. Jack opens a cabinet with plates in it.

JACK (V.O.)
I had it all. Even the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard working people of...wherever.

OPERATOR (V.O.)
Please hold.

JACK
(into phone)
I was holding.

JACK( V.O.)
 We used to read pornography. Now it was the Horchow Collection.

Jack closes the cabinet. He rummages through the refrigerator. It's practically empty. Jack takes out a jar of mustard, opens it and uses a butter knife to eat it.

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

Jack, eyes puffy, face pale, sits before an INTERN, who studies him with bemusement.

INTERN
No, you can't die from insomnia.

JACK
What about narcolepsy? I nod off, I wake up in strange places, I have no idea how I got there.

INTERN
You need to lighten up.

JACK
Can't you, please, just give me something?

JACK (V.O.)
Red-and-blue Tuinal lipstick-red seconals.

INTERN
(overlapping with above)
No. You need healthy, natural sleep. Chew some valerian root and get some more exercise.

The Intern rushes Jack to the door. They step into the...

INT. HALLWAY

The Intern walks away from Jack, picks up a chart.

JACK
Hey, come on. I'm in pain.

INTERN
(facetious)
You wanna see pain? Swing by First Methodist Tuesday night. See guys with testicular cancer. That's pain.

The intern moves into the other room. Jack stares after him.

EXT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH - NIGHT

Jack heads for the front door.

INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH HALLWAY / STAIRS - NIGHT

Jack heads for the meeting room. We can hear music coming out of the room.

INT. FIRST METHODISTS CHURCH MEETING ROOM - NIGHT

Jack stares a group of men, including Bob.

INT. FIRST METHODISTS CHURCH MEETING ROOM - LATER

Jack sitting on a chair, puts on a NAMETAG on his shirt. They are all listening to a group member speak at a lectern. The SPEAKER has pale skin and sunken eyes -- he's clearly dying.

SPEAKER
I always wanted 3 kids. Two boys and a girl. Mindy wanted two girls and a boy. We never could agree on anything.

The speaker cracks a sad smile. Some men chuckle, happy to listen the mood.

SPEAKER
Well uh, she.. she had her first child last week, a...,a girl, with her uh...new husband...

MEMBER
(whispering)
Fuck...

SPEAKER
Hey, thank God. I'm glad for her, because, she deserves it....

The speaker breaks down, WEEPS UNCONTROLLABLY. Jack watches. The group leader go up to the speaker comforting him.

LEADER
Everyone, let's thank Thomas for sharing himself with us.

EVERYONE
(in unison)
Thank you, Thomas.

LEADER
I look around this room and I see a lot of courage. And that gives me strength. We give each other strength.

Jack looks around. Many of the men are sniffing, sobbing. Jack squirms in his seat.

LEADER
It's time for the one-on-one. Let's all of us follow Thomas's example and really open ourselves. Can anyone find a partner?

Everyone gets out of their chairs and begins pairing-off. Jack remains in his seat, uncomfortable. Bob, his chin down on his chest, starts toward Jack, shuffling in his feet.

JACK (V.O.)
And this is how I met the big moosie, his eyes already shrink-wrapped in tears. Knees together, those awkward little steps.

Jack watches him, his mouth hangs open.

Bob extends his hand. Jack takes it.

BOB
My name is Bob.

JACK
Bob!

Bob takes Jack into an embrace.

JACK (V.O.)
Bob had been a champion body-builder. You know that chest expansion program you see on late night TV? That was his idea.

BOB
I was a juicer. You know  Using steroids. Diabonol, then Wisterol, they use for racehorses for Christsakes. And now I'm bankrupt, I'm divorced, my two grown kids won't even return my calls...

JACK (V.O.)
Strangers with this kind of honesty make me do a big rubbery one.

Bob breaks into sobbing, putting his head on Jack's shoulder and completely covering Jack's face. After a long beat crying, Bob raises up his head, looks at Jack's NAMETAG.

BOB
Go ahead, Cornelius. You can cry.

Jack doesn't know how to react. Bob pulls Jack's head back into his chest.

JACK (V.O.)
And then something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion -- dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

Jack cries and tightens his arms around Bob.

BOB
That's good...

Jack pulls away from Bob. On Bob's chest there's a WET MASK OF JACK'S FACE from how he looks weeping.

BOB
It's ok.

Bob hugs Jack and smiles.

INT. JACK'S BEDROOM -NIGHT

Jack lies asleep, snoring.

JACK (V.O.)
Babies don't sleep this well.

INT. SOCIAL HALLWAY - DAY

JACK (V.O.)
I became addicted.

Jack stares at a paper with SUPPORT GROUPS' s programs,  which is stack on a board. He looks around and then he grabs the paper.

INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT

Jack moves into a "group hug" of sickly people, men and women.

LEADER
Come on.

JACK (V.O.)
If I didn't say anything, people always assumed the worst.

MAN
Welcome, Travis.

ANOTHER MAN
Welcome, Travis.

In view is a sign by the door "Free and Clear".

INT. OFFICE BUILDING BASEMENT - NIGHT

Jack stands with a weeping middle-aged woman. He begins to cry along with her. A sign by the door: "Seize the day".

JACK (V.O.)
They cried harder. I cried harder.

INT. JACK'S OFFICE

Jack is sitting in his office and reads a newspaper. He notes other support groups.

INT. PUBLIC BUILDING CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT

Everyone, including Jack, sits back in their seats, EYES CLOSED. The Leader speaks into a microphone.

LEADER
Now we're going to open the green door - the heart chakra...

JACK (V.O.)
I wasn't really dying. I wasn't host to cancer or parasites; I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around.

LEADER
Imagine your pain as a white ball of healing light. It moves  over your body healing you. 

Jack, eyes closed, is silent...

LEADER
Now keep this going, remember to breathe...and step forward through the back door of the room. Where does it lead? To your cave...

INT. CAVE - JACK'S IMAGINATION

Jack walks along, moving through the ICE CAVERN.

LEADER'S VOICE
Step forward into your cave. That's right. You're going deeper into your cave. And you're going to find, your power animal...

Jack comes upon a PENGUIN. The penguin looks at him, cocks his head to signal Jack forward.

PENGUIN
Slide.

The penguin jumps onto a patch of ICE and slides away.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Jack walks out a doorway. He walks down the sidewalk, shining with peace.

JACK (V.O.)
Every evening I died, and every evening I was born again. Resurrected.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. FIRST METHODISTS CHURCH MEETING ROOM - RESUMING

Jack's still in an embrace with Bob.

JACK (V.O.)
Bob loved me, because he thought my testicles were removed too. Being there, pressed against his tits, ready to cry -- this was my vacation.

We hear noise from a woman's high heals. MARLA SINGER enters, smoking.  She has short hair matte black hair and big, dark eyes like a character from Japanese animation.

JACK (V.O.)
And she ruined everything.

Marla looks around.

MARLA
This is cancer, right?

Bob and Jack stare, dumbfounded.

INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - LATER

Everyone sits back in their seats. MOVE THROUGH ROOM...FIND JACK'S FACE as he stares....MOVE THROUGH ROOM...FIND MARLA'S FACE. She's drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette.

JACK (V.O.)
This...chick...Marla Singer...did not have testicular cancer. She was a liar.

INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT

Marla sits with the group, smoking, listening intently while a member speaks. Jack spies on her.

JACK (V.O.)
She had no diseases at all. I had seen her at  "Free and Clear", my blood parasites group Thursdays.

INT. CHURCH CATHEDRAL - NIGHT

Marla sits at the of the row smoking. All the faces down the row are turned toward her, incredulous...

JACK (V.O.)
Then at Hope, my bimonthly sickle cell circle.

Jack leans out further than the others, scornful.

JACK (V.O.)
And again at "Seize the day", my tuberculosis Friday night.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING BASEMENT - NIGHT

Jack sits in his chair. He hears something behind his back. He turns--and it is MARLA who is lighting a cigarette.

JACK (V.O.)
Marla--the big tourist. Her lie reflected my lie. And suddenly I felt nothing. I couldn't cry. So, once again, I couldn't sleep.

EXT. FIRST METHODISTS CHURCH - NIGHT

Marla walks out. The support group dispersing. Jack exits amongst them. He spots Marla walking away. Jack stares Marla for a long moment. He walks away.

INT. BEDROOM - LATER

Jack lies awake.

JACK (V.O.)
Next group, after guided meditation, after we open our heart chakras, when it's time to hug, I'm gonna grab that little bitch Marla Singer and scream...

INT. MEETING ROOM - NIGHT - JACK'S IMAGINATION

CLOSE ON JACK as he GRABS Marla's arm. Everybody watches them.

JACK
Marla, you liar! You big tourist! I need this! Now get out!

INT. BEDROOM - RESUMING

JACK (V.O.)
I hadn't slept in four days...

Jack stands up and leaves the room.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Jack in pajamas, stares at Home Shopping Network on his TV.

JACK (V.O.)
When you  have insomnia, you're never really asleep and you're never really awake.

INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT

Everyone sits in chairs.

LEADER
To begin tonight's communion, Chloe would like to say a few words.

Taking the lectern is CHLOE, a pale, sickly girl whose skin stretches yellowish and tight over bones. She wears a head bondage. She clears her throat.

JACK (V.O.)
Oh, yeah, Chloe. Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around a party being extra nice to everybody.

CHLOE
Well, I'm still here--but I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news -- I no longer have any fear of death.

APPLAUSE from around the room.

CHLOE
But...I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time.
(leaning very close to the microphone)
I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants and amyl nitrate...--

The LEADER gingerly takes control of the microphone.

LEADER
Chloe. Everyone, let's thank Chloe.

EVERYONE
Thank you, Chloe.

LEADER
Now, let's ready our self for guided meditation.

 Jack catches sight of Marla.

LEADER
You're standing at the entrance to your cave. You step inside your cave and you walk.

Jack's face, eyes closed, motionless.

JACK (V.O.)
If I had a tumor, I'd named it Marla. Marla...the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.

LEADER
...deeper into your cave as you walk. You feel the healing energy of this place all around you. Now, find your power animal.

INT. CAVE - JACK'S IMAGINATION

Jack finds Marla smoking a cigarette. Marla cocks her head, indicating when wants him to --

MARLA
Slide.

INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - RESUMING

Jack's eyes open and turn to Marla, watching her blow smoke rings with her eyes closed.

LEADER
Okay, let's partner up.

Everyone stands and mills about, pairing-off.

LEADER
Pick someone special to you tonight.

JACK  sees Marla, off by herself. Someone heads for her. Jack darts toward Marla. STAY ON JACK AND MARLA as Jack CLAMPS his arms around her. He whispers into her ear.

JACK
Hey. We need to talk.

MARLA
Sure.

JACK
I'm on to you. 

MARLA
What?

Yeah. You're a faker. You're not dying.

MARLA
Sorry?

JACK
In the Tibetan philosophy, Sylvia Plath sense of the word. I know we're all dying. But you're not dying the way Chloe back there is dying.

MARLA
So?

JACK
So, you're a tourist. Ok? I've seen you? I saw you at melanoma, I saw you at tuberculosis and I saw you at testicular cancer!

MARLA
 I saw you practicing this.

JACK
Practicing what?

MARLA
Telling me off. Is it going as well as you hoped...?
(reads his nametag)
"...Rupert"?

JACK
I'll expose you.

MARLA
Go ahead. I'll expose you.

LEADER
All right come together. Let yourselves cry.

Marla puts her head down on Jack's shoulder as if she were crying. Jack feels uncomfortable.

JACK
Oh, God, why are you doing this?

MARLA
It's cheaper that a movie and there's free coffee.

JACK
No, look. This is important ok? These are my groups, I've been coming here for over a year.

MARLA
Why do you do it?

JACK
I don't know. When people think you are dying, they really listen, instead--

MARLA
--instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.

JACK
Yeah. Yeah...

LEADER
Share yourself...completely.

JACK
(warning)
Ok, you don't want to get into this. It becomes an addiction.

MARLA
Really?

Jack pulls her away.

JACK
I'm not kidding! I can't cry if there's another faker person and I need this. So you got to find somewhere else to go.

MARLA
Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem.

Marla starts out of the room. Jack follows her.

EXT. CHURCH - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

Marla gets to the sidewalk, moving quickly along.

JACK
We'll split up the week, okay? You can have lymphoma and tuberculosis--

MARLA
You take tuberculosis, my smoking doesn't go over at all.

JACK
Ok, good, fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.

MARLA
Well, technically. I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.

JACK
You're kidding.

MARLA
I don't know--am I?

JACK
No, no!

Jack follows Marla into...

INT. LAUNDROMAT - CONTINUOUS

Marla walks with authority up to an unwatched DRYER. She takes out the clothes, picks out jeans, pants and shirts.

JACK
What do you want?

MARLA
I'll take the parasites.

JACK
You can't have both parasites. You can take blood parasites--

MARLA
I want brain parasites.

JACK
Okay, I'll take the blood parasites and organic brain dementia--

MARLA
I want that.

JACK
You can't have the whole brain!

MARLA
So far you have four, I only have two!

JACK
Ok, take blood parasites. They're yours. Now we each have three...

Marla gathers the chosen garments and heads out past Jack...

EXT. SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS

Jack follows, bewildered.

JACK
You left your half clothes!

HONK! Jack starts. Marla's led him into the street with traffic barreling down. Marla walks on, oblivious as CARS screech to a half, HORNS BLARING. Jack dashes, following.

INT. THRIFT STORE - CONTINUOUS

Marla drops the pile of clothes on a counter. An old CLERK sifts through the clothes, begins writing on a pad.

JACK
What, you're selling those?

Marla steps down hard on Jack's foot. He winces in pain.

MARLA
(for the clerk to hear)
Yes, I'm selling some clothes.

The clerk starts to ring up the assessed amounts.

MARLA
So, we each have three --that's six. What about the seventh day? I want ascending bowel cancer.

JACK (V.O.)
The girl had done her homework.

JACK
I want ascending bowel cancer.

The clerk gives a strange look as he hands money to Marla.

MARLA
(to the clerk)
Thank you.
(to Jack)
That's your favorite too? Tried to slip it by me, eh?

JACK
We'll split it up. You get the first and third Sunday of the month.

MARLA
Deal.

They shake hands. Jack tries to withdraw his hand; Marla holds it.

MARLA
Looks like this is goodbye.

JACK
Let's not make a big thing out of it.

She walks to the door, pocketing money, not looking back.

MARLA
How's this for not making a big thing?

Jack watches her go. A moment...then he follows after.

EXT. SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS

Jack hesitates, unsure, then runs to catch up to her. Marla walks into the street, causing  SCREECHING and HONKING.

JACK
Marla! Hey Marla! Maybe we should exchange numbers.

MARLA
Should we?

JACK
In case we want to switch nights.

MARLA
Ok.

Marla turns back to Jack. Jack takes out a business card, writes his number on the back, hands it to her. She takes the pen, grabs his hand and writes the number in his palm.

JACK (V.O.)
This is how I met Marla Singer.

She walks into the street again, causing more SCREECHING and HONKING.

JACK (V.O.)
Marla's philosophy was that she might die at any moment.  The tragedy was, she said, that she didn't.

Marla turns, holds up the card.

MARLA
It doesn't have your name. Who are you? Cornelius? Rupert? Travis? Any of the stupid names you give each night?

Jack starts to answer, but the traffic noise is too loud. Marla just shakes her head. A BUS moves into view, obscuring her.

INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - DAY

The plane touches down; the cabin BUMPS. Jack's eyes open.

JACK (V.O.)
You wake up at SeaTac. 

INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - DAY

Jack snaps awake again, looking around, disoriented.

JACK (V.O.)
S.F.O.

EXT. HIGHWAY - DUSK

The rear of a CRASHED CAR sticks up by the side of the road. Jack stands, marking on a clipboard. The SUN SETS behind.

JACK (V.O.)
You wake up at Logan. L.A.X., B.W.I.

INT. AIRPORT - NIGHT

Jack runs to a gate counter. An ATTENDANT smiles at him.

JACK (V.O.)
Pacific, Mountain, Central. Lose an hour, gain an hour.

ATTENDANT
Check-in for that flight doesn't begin for another two hours, sir.

Jack looks at his watch and then at the AIRPORT ELECTRONIC CLOCK

JACK (V.O.)
This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

INT. AIRPLANE WALKWAY

Jack stands on a conveyor belt, briefcase at his feet. He watches PEOPLE MOVING PAST on the opposite conveyor.

JACK (V.O.)
If you wake up at a different time and in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

Jack misses seeing TYLER on the opposite conveyor belt. They pass each other.

INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - IN FLIGHT - NIGHT

Jack sits next to a BUSINESSMAN. As they have idle CONVERSATION, we MOVE IN ON Jack's tray. An ATTENDANT'S HANDS set coffee down with a small container of cream.

JACK (V.O.)
Everywhere I travel -- tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter.

HANDS place a dinner tray down.

JACK (V.O.)
Microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - BATHROOM - NIGHT

Jack brushes his teeth in the MIRROR.

JACK (V.O.)
Shampoo / conditioner combo. Sample of mouthwash, tiny bar of soap.

Jack picks up an individual, wrapped Q-TIP, looks at it. 

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - MAIN ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Jack sits on the bed. He turns on TV. 

JACK (V.O.)
The people I meet on each flight -- they're single-serving friends. Between take-off and landing, we have our time together, but that's all we get

The TV is tuned to "Sheraton channel", shows WAITERS saying...

WAITERS
Welcome!

Jack feels something on the bed, lifts it -- a small DINNER MINT. He opens it and eats it.

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

A giant corrugated METAL DOOR opens.

JACK (V.O.)
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Two TECHNICIANS lead Jack to the BURNT-OUT SHELL of a WRECKED AUTOMOBILE. Jack sets down his briefcase, opens it and starts to make notes on a CLIP BOARDED FORM.

JACK (V.O.)
I'm a recall coordinator. My job is to apply the formula. It's a story problem.

TECHNICIAN #1
Here's where the infant went through the windshield. Three points.

JACK (V.O.)
A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 miles per hour. The rear differential locks up.

TECHNICIAN #2
The teenager's braces around the backseat ashtray would make a good "anti-smoking" ad.

JACK (V.O.)
The car crushes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now: do we initiate a recall?

TECHNICIAN #1
The father's must've been huge. See how the fat burnt into the driver's seat with the polyester shirt? Very "modern art".

JACK (V.O.)
Take the number of vehicles in the field (A),  multiply it by the probable rate of failure (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement (C). A times B times C equals X...

CUT TO:

INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - MOVING DOWN RUNWAY - NIGHT

Jack is speaking to the BUSINESSWOMAN next to him.

JACK
If X is less that the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

BUSINESSWOMAN
Are there a lot of these kinds of accident?

JACK
You wouldn't believe.

BUSINESSWOMAN
Which car company do you work for?

JACK
A major one.

Turgid silence. Jack is about to eat his desert. He turns to the window. He sees a PELICAN get SUCKED into the TURBINE.

JACK (V.O.)
Every time the plane banked too sharply on take-off or landing, I prayed for a crash, or a mid-air collision -- anything.

Jack's face remains bland during the following: the plane BUCKLES -- the cabin wobbles. People panic. Masks drop. The side of plane SHEARS OFF! Screaming PASSENGERS are sucked out into the night air, flying past the quivering wind. Magazines and other objects fly everywhere.

JACK (V.O.)
Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip.

Jack remains in his same position, same bland expression.

DING! -- The seatbelt light goes OUT. Jack SNAPS AWAKE. EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. Some passengers get out of their seats. From next to Jack, a VOICE we've heard before...

TYLER
"If you are seated in an emergency exit row...", yeah..." and you feel you would be unable or unwilling to perform duties listed on safety card, please ask a flight attendant to reseat you."

Jack turns to see TYLER. Tyler is reading a safety INSTRUCTION CARD.

JACK
It's a lot of responsibility.

Tyler turns to Jack.

TYLER
Wanna switch seats?

JACK
No, I'm not sure I'm the man for that particular job.

TYLER
An exit-door procedure at 30.000 feet. Mm-hmm. The illusion of safety.

JACK
Yeah, I guess so.

TYLER
You know why the put oxygen masks on planes?

JACK
So you can breathe.

TYLER
Oxygen, gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, we're taking giant, panicked breaths...Suddenly you become euphoric, docile, you accept your fate.

Tyler points to passive faces on the drawn figures, from the INSTRUCTION CARD.

TYLER
Emergency water landing, 600 miles per hour. Blank faces - calm as Hindu cows.

Jack laughs.

JACK
That's um...that's an interesting theory. What do you do?

TYLER
What do you mean?

JACK
What do you do for a living?

TYLER
Why? So you pretend you're interested?

Jack laughs.

JACK
Okay...

TYLER
You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.

Tyler reaches under the seat in front of him and lifts a BRIEFCASE. Jack points to his own briefcase.

JACK
We have the exact same briefcase.

Tyler opens his briefcase. He pops the latches and raises the lid to reveal quaintly-wrapped bars of SOAP.

TYLER
Soap.

JACK
Sorry?

TYLER
I make and I sale soap. The yardstick of civilization.

Tyler reaches the briefcase and takes out his card. He hands it to Jack. "THE PAPER STREET SOAP COMPANY".

JACK (V.O.)
And this is how I met--

JACK
Tyler Durden.

TYLER
Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate, you could make napalm?

JACK
No, I didn't know that, is that true?

TYLER
That's right. One can make all kinds of explosives using simple household items.

JACK
Really?

TYLER
If one were so inclined.

Tyler SNAPS the briefcase shut. Jack stares.

JACK
Tyler, you are by far, the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met.

Tyler stares Jack. Jack, enjoying his own chance to be witty, leans closer to Tyler.

JACK
See, obviously everything on a plane is single-serving, even--

TYLER
Oh, I get it. It's very clever.

JACK
Thank you.

TYLER
How's that working out for you?

JACK
What?

TYLER
Being clever.

JACK
(thrown)
Great.

TYLER
Keep it up then. Right up.

Tyler stands, looks toward the aisle.

TYLER
Now a question of etiquette: As I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

Tyler moves to the aisle, his ass toward Jack, walks away... In his way there's an ATTENDANT. He moves, his "crotch" toward the ATTENDANT'S butt. Tyler goes to the curtain dividing First Class, slaps the curtain aside and sits in an empty seat. Jack watches.

JACK (V.O.)
How I came to live with Tyler is: airlines have this policy about vibrating luggage.

INT. BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA - NIGHT

Utterly empty of baggage. No people except for Jack and a SECURITY FORCE MAN. The Security TFM, smirking, holds a receiver to his ear from an official phone on the wall.

JACK
Was--was it ticking?

SECURITY MAN
(to Jack)
Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

JACK
Sorry? Throwers?

SECURITY MAN
Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, the throwers have to call the police.

JACK
My suitcase was vibrating?

SECURITY MAN
Nine time out of ten, it's an electric razor. But every once in a while...
(whispers)
...It's a dildo. It's company policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We use the indefinite article: "A dildo". Never "Your dildo".

JACK
I don't own a --

The security man nods, and listens to the phone. Jack turns and sees through a window, TYLER, at the curb, throwing his briefcase into the back of a shiny, red CONVERTIBLE. Tyler laps over the door into the driver's seat and PEELS OUT. Jack turns away, looks at the Security TFM. In the background, a HARRIED MAN dashes after Tyler and the convertible SCREAMING.

JACK (V.O.)
I had everything in that suitcase. My C.K. shirts, my D.K.N.Y. shoes, my A.X ties. Never mind...

INT. TAXI - MOVING - NIGHT

Along a residential street. Jack looks ahead, sees a tall, gray, bland BUILDING on the corner.

JACK (V.O.)
Home was a condo on the fifteenth floor of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. The walls were solid concrete. A foot of concrete is important when your next-door neighbor lets her hearing aid gonad has to watch games show at full volume...

The taxi turns a corner and Jack sees the front of the building. A diffuse CLOUD OF SMOKE wafts away from a BLOWN-OUT SECTION of the fifteenth floor. FIRE TRUCKS, POLICE CARS and a MOB are all crowded around the lobby area.

EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF BUILDING

Jack gets out of the taxi and gaps at the sight above him. Jack starts toward the building.

JACK (V.O.)
...or when a volcanic blast of debris that used to be your furniture and personal effects blows out your floor-to-ceiling windows and sails flaming into the night. I suppose these things happen...

He pushes through the fray of people, into the...

INT. LOBBY

The DOORMAN sees Jack enter, gives a sad smile, shakes his head.

DOORMAN
There's nothing up there. You can't go into the unit. Police orders.

Jack heads out the lobby doors. The Doorman follows.

INT. CONDO BUILDING - CONTINUOUS

Jack walks past SMOKING, CHARRED DEBRIS -- a flash of ORANGE from the Yang table, part of an arm chair from the GREEN ARMCHAIR. His feet CRUNCH glass.

DOORMAN
Do you have somebody to call?

JACK (V.O.)
How embarrassing. A house full of condiments and no food.

Jack comes to his REFRIGERATOR lying on its side. He reaches down and takes a not: "MARLA -- " and a phone number, from under a BANANA MAGNET.

CLOSE SHOT - JACK'S STOVE

Hissing.

JACK (V.O.)
The police would later tell me that the pilot light might have gone out...letting out just a little bit of gas.

EXT. PAYPHONE - RESUMING

Jack gets to a PAYPHONE. Jack picks up the receiver, puts in a quarter. He signals Marla's number.

CLOSE SHOT - JACK'S ENTIRE CONDO - KITCHEN AND LIVING ROOM

The SOUND of the HISS...

JACK (V.O.)
The gas could have slowly filled the condo. Seventeen-hundred square feet with high ceilings, for days and days.

INSERT - CLOSE ON THE BACK OF JACK'S REFRIGERATOR

JACK (V.O.)
Then the refrigerator's compressor could've clicked on.

EXT. PAYPHONE - RESUMING

On the other end it rings.

MARLA'S VOICE
Yeah?

CLOSE SHOT - JACK'S ENTIRE CONDO - KITCHEN AND LIVING ROOM

Click. KABOOM! SCREEN GOES WHITE.

EXT. PAYPHONE - RESUMING

Jack doesn't answer.

MARLA'S VOICE
I can hear your breathing, you --

Jack hangs up. He takes out of his pocket Tyler's card.

JACK (V.O.)
If you ask me now, I couldn't tell you why I called him.

Jack re-deposits the quarter, dials Tyler's number. It RINGS...and RINGS... and RINGS. Jack sighs and hangs up the phone. A moment, then the phone RINGS.

JACK
Hello?

TYLER'S VOICE
Who's this?

JACK
Tyler?

TYLER
Who's this?

JACK
Um... We met on the plane. We had the same briefcase. I'm...the clever guy.

TYLER'S VOICE
Oh, yeah. Right, okay?

JACK
I just called a second ago, there was no answer. I'm at a payphone.

TYLER'S VOICE
I star-sixty-nined you. I never pick up my phone. So, what's up, man?

JACK
Uhm, well...you're not going to believe this...

EXT. LOU'S TAVERN - NIGHT

A small building in the middle of a concrete parking lot.

INT. LOU'S TAVERN - SAME

Jack and Tyler sit in the back, with a pitcher of beer.

TYLER
You know man, could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.

JACK
There's always that. I don't know, it's just...when you buy furniture, you tell yourself: that's it, that's the last sofa I'm gonna need. No matter what else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was so close to being complete.

TYLER
Shit, man, now it's all gone.

JACK
All gone. 

TYLER
Do you know what a duvet it?

JACK
Comforter.

TYLER
It's a blanket, just a blanket. Now why guys like you and I know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival? In the hunter-gathered sense of the word? No. What are we then?

JACK
You know, consumers.

TYLER
Right. We're consumers. We're by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty -- these things don't concern me. What concerns me is celebrity magazines, television with five hundred channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

JACK
Martha Stewart.

TYLER
Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishes on the brass of the Titanic. It's all going down, man! So fuck off, with your sofa units and your green stripe patterns. I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. I say let's evolve and let the chips fall where they may. But that's me, I could be wrong, maybe it's a terrible tragedy.

JACK
No, it's just stuff.

TYLER
Well, you did lose a lot of versatile solutions for a modern life.

JACK
Fuck, you're right.

Tyler offers Jack a cigarette. 

JACK
No, I don't smoke. My insurance will probably cover it, so...

Tyler stares at him

JACK
What?

TYLER
The things you own, end up owing you. But do what you like, man.

EXT. PARKING LOT OF TAVERN

Tyler and Jack come out.

JACK
(looks at his watch)
Oh, God, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer.

TYLER
Yeah, man.

JACK
I should find a hotel...

TYLER
What?

JACK
What?

TYLER
A hotel?

JACK
Yeah.

TYLER
Just ask it, man.

JACK
What are you talking about?

TYLER
Three pitchers of beer and you still can't ask.

JACK
What?

TYLER
You called me so you could have a place to stay.

JACK
Hey, no, no, no--

TYLER
Yes you did. Just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask, man.

JACK
Wou--Would that be a problem?

TYLER
Is it a problem for you to ask?

JACK
Can I stay at your place?

TYLER
(indifferently)
Yeah.

JACK
...Thanks.

TYLER
But I want you to do me one favor.

JACK
Yeah, sure.

TYLER
(talking very fast)
I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

JACK
What?

TYLER
(talking very slow)
I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

FREEZE PICTURE

JACK (V.O.)
Let me tell you a little bit about Tyler Durden.

EXTREME CLOSE UP - FILM FRAME

--And we see it's PORNOGRAPHY.

INT. PROJECTIONIST ROOM - THEATRE - NIGHT

Jack in the foreground, FACES CAMERA. In the BACKGROUND, Tyler sits at a bench, looking at individual FRAMES cut from movies. Near him,  a PROJECTOR rolls film.

JACK (V.O.)
Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. A movie doesn't come in one big reel, comes on a few. So someone has to change projectors at the exact moment one reel ends and the next one begins. If you look for it you can see little dots coming in the upper right hand corner on screen

Tyler points to the side of OUR FRAME and TWO DOTS briefly APPEAR ON SCREEN.

Tyler
In the industry we call them "cigarette burns".

JACK
That's a cue for a change over. The movie goes on , and nobody in the audience has any idea.

TYLER
Why would anyone want this shit job?

JACK
Because it affords him other interesting opportunities.

TYLER
--Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films.

JACK
So when the snooty cat and the courageous dog, with the celebrity voices, meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch the flash of Tyler's contribution in the film.

FROM THE AUDIENCE we hear the cartoon voices, and then for a moment the voice of a WOMAN MOANING. The film continues. IN THE AUDIENCE, CHILDREN suddenly start squirming, confused, looking at each other. A WOMAN abruptly stops sucking her soda straw feeling vaguely terrible. Her uncomfortable HUSBAND slowly leans back in his seat. Jack and Tyler watch from the projection booth window.

JACK
No one really knows that they've seen it. But they did.

TYLER
A nice, big cock.

JACK
Even a hummingbird couldn't caught Tyler at work.

INT. LARGE BANQUET HALL - NIGHT

Tyler moves around one of many tables, setting down food. Jack sits in one chair of the same table. He turns back and FACES CAMERA.

JACK
Tyler also worked sometimes as a banquet waiter at the luxurious Pressman Hotel.

Tyler throws the food in a woman's plate.

INT. SERVICE ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Jack turns and WE PAN to Tyler, standing by a CART, with a giant SOUP TUREEN. His hands are at his open fly and he's in position to piss into the soap.

JACK
He was the guerrilla terrorist of the food service industry.

TYLER
Do not watch. I cannot if you watch.

Tyler takes a glass of water and pours it.

Jack waits. The SOUND of a STREAM of LIQUID is HEARD.

JACK
He farted on meringue; he sneezed on braised endive; and with creme of mushroom soup, well...

TYLER (O.S.)
Go ahead, tell them.

JACK
You get the idea.

EXT. PARKING LOT OF TAVERN - RESUMING

JACK
Well, what do you want me to do? You want me to hit you?

TYLER
C'mon, do me this one favor.

JACK
Why?

TYLER
Why? I don't know why. I don't know. Never been in a fight, you?

JACK
No, but that's a good thing.

TYLER
No, it is not! How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight? I don't want to die without any scars.

Tyler takes out of his pockets TWO BOTTLES OF BEER and places them on the road.

TYLER
Come on, hit me, before I lose my nerve.

JACK
This is crazy.

TYLER
So go crazy. Let 'er rip.

JACK
I don't know about this.

TYLER
I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?

JACK
This is crazy, you want me to hit you?

TYLER
That's right.

JACK
What, like in the face?

TYLER
Surprise me!

JACK
This is so fucking stupid!

Jack swings a wide, clumsy roundhouse -- hits Tyler's ear -- makes a dull, flat sound.

TYLER
Oh! Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear! 

JACK
Well, Jesus, I'm sorry!

JACK
Ouch! Why the ear, man?

JACK
Aw, I fucked it up!

TYLER
No, that was perfect!

Tyler shoots out a straight punch to Jack's stomach. Jack falls back against a car. His eyes tear up. Tyler moves closer to him to see if he's ok.

JACK
Nah, it's alright. That really hurts.

TYLER
Right.

JACK
Hit me again.

TYLER
No, you hit me! Come on!

Tyler punches Jack in the stomach again. Tyler and Jack move clumsily, throwing punches. They breathe heavier, drooling saliva and blood, growing dizzier from every impact.

EXT. CUB SIDE  - LATER

Jack and Tyler sit on the curb. Their eyes are glazed with endorphin-induced serenity. Tyler is smoking a cigarette and Jack is drinking a beer. Jack hands the beer to Tyler.

JACK
We should do this again sometime.

Tyler smiles and drinks the beer.

EXT. PAPER STREET - NIGHT

A street sign: "PAPER STREET." A PAPER MILL sits on one side, facing a lone HOUSE on the other. The rest of the land is grass and weeds. It's a grand, old three-story, long abandoned. Tyler leads Jack toward it. Tyler throws in the sky his beer.

JACK
Where's you car?

TYLER
What car?

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Tyler leads Jack through the FRONT DOOR...

JACK (V.O.)
I don't know how Tyler found the house, but he said he'd been there for a year. It looked like it was waiting to be torn down. Most of the windows were boarded up.

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MOMENT LATER

Tyler and Jack climb CREAKY STAIRS to the 2nd floor LANDING.

JACK (V.O.)
There was no lock in the front door from the police or whoever kicked it in. The stairs were ready to collapse. I don't know if he owned it or it was squatting. Neither would have surprised me.

Tyler opens the door to a ROOM...

INT. ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Jack enters, Tyler is in the hallway.

TYLER
Yeap, that's you,
(indicating another room)
That's me,
(indicating another room)
That's toilet. Good?

JACK
Yeah, thanks.

Jack sits on the creaky BED. Dust drifts upwards.

JACK (V.O.)
What a shithole. 

INT. SHOWER - MORNING

Jack turns on the water. LOUD VIBRATIONS from the walls. Water spits in starts.

JACK (V.O.)
Nothing worked. Turning out on a light meant another light in the house went out.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

Tyler is warming something and Jack sits on the table.

JACK (V.O.)
There were no neighbors. Just some warehouses and a paper mill, that fart smell steam, the hamster cage of wood chips.

EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Tyler and Jack FIGHT. TWO GUYS come out of the tavern. They see them fighting.

MAN
What we have here?

They move toward them. Tyler sees them and stops punching Jack.

TYLER
Hey, guys.

MAN
Hey.

Tyler PUNCHES Jack right in the eye.

INT. OFFICE - TOILET

Jack and his BOSS are side by side pissing. Jack whistles. Boss turns to Jack and sees his BLACK eye.

INT. BASEMENT - DAY

Jack sits on the basement stairs, watching as Tyler, knee-deep in water, works at an open FUSE BOX, flipping breakers in a certain order, showing Jack how it's done.

JACK (V.O.)
Every time it rained we had to kill the power. By the end of the first month I didn't miss TV. I didn't even mind the warm, stale refrigerator.

EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT

TEN GUYS YELL, standing around Tyler and a man, who FIGHT. Tyler PUNCHES the man and he falls down. ANOTHER MAN in a suit, comes one step closer to Tyler and raises his hand.

MAN
Can I be next?

Jack and Tyler, both look at each other.

TYLER
All right, man. Lose the tie.

EXT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - NIGHT

Jack and Tyler SWING an old GOLF CLUB -- THWACK -- they send golf ball soaring down the desolate street.

JACK (V.O.)
At night, Tyler and I were alone for half a mile in every direction.

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - NIGHT

It's raining.

JACK (V.O.)
Rain trickled down through the plaster and the light fixtures .Every wooden swelled and shrunk. Everywhere were rusted nails to snug your elbow on  .The previous occupant had been a bit of a shut-in.

INT. READING ROOM - NIGHT

CANDLES BURN. Jack is reading MAGAZINES. Rain DRIPS from the ceiling. No furniture. THOUSANDS OF MAGAZINES. Tyler passes by Jack, on a bicycle.

TYLER
Hey, man, what are you reading?

JACK
Listen to this. It's an article written in first person. "I am Jack's medulla oblongata, without me Jack could not regulate his heart rate, blood pressure or breathing!" There's a whole series of these! "I am Jill's nipples". "I am Jack's Colon."

Tyler is still on the bicycle.

TYLER
Yeah, I get cancer, I kill Jack.

Tyler hits something and falls down.

INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY

Jack daubs blood from his mouth with a handkerchief. Boss enters and complains.

JACK (V.O.)
After fighting, everything else in your life gets the volume turned down. 

JACK
What?

JACK (V.O.)
You can deal with anything.

BOSS
Have you finished those reports?

Jack hands him the reports.

JACK (V.O.)
The people who had power over you, have less and less.

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - BATHROOM - MORNING

Tyler is in the tub and Jack is taking care an injury.

TYLER
If you could fight anyone, who would you fight?

JACK
I'd fight my boss, probably.

TYLER
Really?

JACK
Yeah, why, who would you fight?

TYLER
I'd fight my dad.

JACK
I don't know my dad. I mean, I know him, but he left when I was like six year old. Married this woman, had more kids. He did this like every six years. Goes to a new city and starts a new family.

TYLER
He was setting franchises. My dad never went to college, so it was really important that I'd go.

JACK
Sounds familiar.

TYLER
So I graduate, I called him a long distance  and asked: "Dad, now what?", he says "Get a job".

JACK
Same here.

TYLER
 When I turned twenty five, my yearly call again "Dad, now what?", he says "I don't know, get married!"

JACK
I can't get married, I'm a thirty-year-old boy!

TYLER
We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Jack, in work clothes, picks up a saucepan with coffee and sips. Tyler, in waiter's uniform, comes to have Jack straighten his tie.

JACK (V.O.)
Most of the week, we were Ozzie and Harriet.

Jack picks up his briefcase and walks out the door.

JACK (V.O.)
But every Saturday night, we were finding something out...

EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Jack and Tyler stand amidst FIFTEEN GUYS around TWO GUYS FIGHTING. The crowd yells MORE WILDLY than before. In the background are EIGHT PARKED CARS.

JACK (V.O.)
... we were finding out, more and more, that we were not alone.

LIGHTS GO OUT all over the parking.

MAN
Who turned the light off?

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Jack walks along.

JACK (V.O.)
It used to be that when I came home angry and depressed. I'd just clean my condo. Polish my Scandinavian furniture. I should've been looking for a new condo.

Jack stops, looking at a CHURCH with SUPPORT GROUP-PEOPLE milling around the entrance, drinking coffee and sodas. MARLA is there, amongst them, smoking. Jack's face shows no reaction. He continues to walk.

JACK (V.O.)
I should've been haggling  with my insurance company. I should've been upset about my nice neat flaming little shit. But I wasn't.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

A SLIDE SHOW progresses, run by a chipper salesman, WALTER. Jack sits, deadpan, with a PUFFY LIP and a BRUISED cheek. Boss and other associates are there too.

WALTER
The basic premise of cyber netting any office is make things more efficient.

JACK (V.O.)
Monday mornings, all I could do was think about next week.

BOSS
Can I get the icon is corn-flower blue?

WALTER
Absolutely. Efficiency is priority number one, people. Because waste is a thief. 
(indicating Jack)
I showed this already to my man here. You liked it, didn't you?

Jack smiles. His teeth are RED with BLOOD. They GLOW eerily in the dim light. Everybody stares at him.

JACK (V.O.)
You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick.

EXT. LOU'S TAVERN - NIGHT

Out of silent darkness, HEADLIGHTS appear from all directions. CARS PULL UP and park int eh already-packed lot. YOUNG MEN get out and march into the tavern...

JACK (V.O.)
It was right in everyone's face. Tyler and  I made it visible. It was on the tip of everyone's tongue. Tyler and I just gave it a name.

INT. LOU'S TAVERN - SAME

The men, including Jack and Tyler, enter and stand against the back wall, waiting. LOUD ROCK MUSIC is playing in the background. The bartender, IRVINE, calls out:

IRVINE
Come on people, you gotta go home!

IRVINE flicks on the LIGHTS. Drunken customers squint and get the message. They plop down money, leaving.

IRVINE
(to someone)
Turn off the jukebox. Lock the back.

Irvine leads Tyler, Jack and the other members to...

INT. TAVERN BASEMENT - SAME

A BOMB - SHELTER. Concrete walls. One BARE BULB above, Tyler standing directly beneath it. The guys mill around, finding partners. Everyone brims with eagerness, but tries to act cool. CHATTER gets LOUDER. Everyone spreads out, forming a circle, Tyler at the center.

JACK (V.O.)
Every week, Tyler gave the rules that he and I decided.

TYLER
Gentlemen! Welcome to fight club.

CHATTER DIES. A couple of COUGHS, FEET SHUFFLING, then SILENCE. During the following, we see men taking off their shirts, other taking off their shoes. A MAN takes off his wedding ring and puts it in his pocket.

TYLER
The first rule of fight club is -- you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is -- you do not talk about fight club. The third rule of fight club -- someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule -- only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule - one fight at a time fellows.
(laughter)
Sixth rule -- no shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule -- fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule -- if this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.

INT. TAVERN BASEMENT - LATER

We're in the middle of a fight, between a short guy, RICKY, and another guy, the WAITER of a restaurant.

JACK (V.O.)
This kid from work, Ricky, couldn't remember whether you ordered pens with blue ink or black. But Ricky was a god for ten minutes, when he trounced the MAITRE D' of the local food court.

HARDER, FASTER PUNCHES between the two fighters. SWEAT flies. SHOUTS become DEAFENING. Ricky's getting the best of his opponent, POUNDING him...

JACK (V.O.)
Sometimes all you could hear were flat, hard packing sounds over the yelling, or the wet choke when someone caught their breath and sprayed...

RICKY'S OPPONENT
(spittle-lipped)
Sssstop!!!...

INT. PHOTOCOPY ROOM -DAY

Jack stands over a copy machine, hit by flashes of light. He glances over his shoulder, watches RICKY, wearing an apron, push a supply cart. Ricky nods at Jack.

JACK (V.O.)
You weren't alive anywhere like you were there. But fight club only exists in the hours between when fight club starts and fight club ends.

INT. OFFICE PARK RESTAURANT - DAY

Jack, eating lunch, watches the BROKEN-NOSED WAITER -- from the above fight -- 

JACK (V.O.)
Even if I could tell someone they had a good fight, I wouldn't be talking to the same man.

The waiter approaches Jack, sets a refill soda down on the table. The two of them briefly make an eye contact.

JACK (V.O.)
Who you were in fight club is not who you were in the rest of the world. A guy came to fight club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood.

EXT. STREET - DUSK

Tyler and Jack walk, both smoking cigarettes.

JACK
If you could fight any celebrity, who would you fight?

TYLER
Alive or dead?

JACK
Doesn't matter, who'd be tough?

TYLER
Hemingway. You?

JACK
Shatner. I'd fight William Shatner.

They reach a BUS STOP as a BUS arrives, tossing their cigarettes, getting on board...

INT. BUS - DUSK

The bus is crowded. As Tyler and Jack walk toward the back, Jack studies the faces of OTHER PASSENGERS.

JACK (V.O.)
We all started seeing things differently. Everywhere we went, we were sizing things up.

They hold hand grips. Jack looks up an ADVERTISEMENT; a CALVIN KLEIN ad featuring a tan, bare-chested MUSCLE STUD.

JACK (V.O.)
I felt sorry for the guys packing into gyms, trying to look like Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger said they should.

JACK
(indicating the ad)
Is that how a man looks like?

Tyler looks at the C.K. advertisement and laughs.

TYLER
Ahh, self-improvement is masturbation. And self-destruction...

A MAN in a suit KNOCKS Tyler's shoulder as he passes. Tyler makes a grin.

INT. TAVERN BASEMENT - NIGHT

A SCREAM. TYLER HITS the floor, stomach first. HIS OPPONENT lands on the top of him, grappling, trying for a CHOKE HOLD. The surrounding CROWD, Jack included, SCREAMS at them...

MAN
Kick his ass!

SECOND MAN
Hit him again, man!

Tyler and the opponent wrestle desperately, and Tyler flips his attacker, gets on top, sprawling to pin him. Tyler turns -- starts reining PUNCHES into the opponents GROIN...

CUT TO:

Jack lands a couple of BLOWS to HIS OPPONENT'S STOMACH -- brings up a left uppercut that smashes the opponent's jaw. Tiny spatters of BLOOD adorn the walls, along with sweat. Jack catches the sight of a swollen-faced Tyler, watching appreciatively drinking a beer and smoking.

JACK (V.O.)
Fight club wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words.

The opponent recovers, throws a headlock on Jack. Jack snakes his arm into a counter headlock. They wrestle like wild animals. The crowd CHEERS maniacally.

JACK (V.O.)
The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church.

Onlookers kneel to stay with the fight, cheering LOUDER. The opponent SMASHES Jack's head to the floor, over and over.

OPPONET
IS that is?

JACK
Stop! Stop!

JACK (V.O.)
When the fight was over, nothing solved but nothing mattered.

Everyone moves in as the opponent steps away. Tyler pushes through the crowd. They turn their attention to the floor, to a BLOOD MASK of Jack's face -- similar to the TEAR MASK on BOB'S SHIRT.

TYLER
Hey, cool.

JACK (V.O.)
Afterwards, we all felt saved.

Jack limply shakes his opponent's hand.

OPPONENT
Hey, how about next week?

JACK
How about next month?

OPPONENT
I hear you.

TYLER
Irvine you're in the middle.
(talking to another guy)
New guy, you too.

INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT

A NURSE tends to Jack while Tyler watches.

JACK (V.O.)
Sometimes Tyler spoke for me.

TYLER
He fell down some stairs.

The Nurse doesn't look at Tyler, just keeps tending Jack.

JACK
I fell down some stairs.

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - BATHROOM - MORNING

Jack brushes his teeth and Tyler trims his fingernails.

JACK (V.O.)
Fight club became the reason to cut your hair short or trim your fingernails.

TYLER
Okay, any historical figure.

JACK
I'd fight Gandhi.

TYLER
Good answer.

JACK
How about you?

TYLER
Lincoln.

JACK
Lincoln?

TYLER
Mm. Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight till they're burger.

Jack reaches his mouth pulls -- yanks a TOOTH. Jack looks at it.

JACK
Fuck.

TYLER
Hey, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.

Jack drops the tooth in the sink.

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - KITCHEN - LATE AFTERNOON 

The phone RINGS. Jack enters, buttoning his shirt. Tyler is in the background exercising with cudgels and making strange noises. Jack picks up the phone

JACK
Hello?

MARLA'S VOICE
Where have you been the last eight weeks?

JACK
Marla?

INTERCUT WITH...

INT. MARLA'S APARTMENT - SAME

EXTREME CLOSE UP OF Marla, who is on the bed and the phone cord is around her neck.

TYLER
Aaach!

Jack looks through the archway and sees Tyler exercising. Jack leans, cups the phone.

JACK
(quietly)
How'd you find me?

MARLA
You left that forwarding number. I haven't seen you at any support groups.

JACK
We split them up, that was the idea, remember?

MARLA
Yeah, but you haven't been going to yours.

JACK
How do you know?

MARLA
(smiling)
I cheated.

JACK
I found a new one.

Marla gets up from the bed.

MARLA
Really?

JACK
It's for men, only.

MARLA
Like the testicle thing?

TYLER
Wahhh!

JACK
This is a bad time...

MARLA
I've been going to Debtor's Anonymous. You want to see some really fucked up people?

JACK
I'm just on my way out...

MARLA
Me too. I got a stomach full of Xanax. I took what was left in the bottle. It might've been too much.

Jack looks exasperated, turns to LOOK INTO THE CAMERA.

JACK (V.O.)
Just picture watching Marla Singer throwing herself around her crummy apartment.

Marla lies on the bed again.

MARLA
This isn't a for-real-suicide things. This is probably one of those cry-for-help things.

JACK (V.O.)
This could go on for hours.

JACK
So, you're staying in tonight then?

MARLA
Do you wanna wait, and hear me describe death? Do you wanna listen and see if my spirit can use a phone?

Jack puts the handset on top of the phone, still off the hook, walks out the back door.

MARLA'S VOICE
Have you ever heard a death rattle before?

INT. BEDROOM - LATE NIGHT

GRUNTS of PLEASURE and EXERTION. Glimpses of TORSOS, ASSES, LEGS, ARMS, BREASTS, and FEMALE HAIR, all DRENCHED in SWEAT. Sheets RIP. Bodies hit the FLOOR. Insane GRUNTING and LAUGHING. A flash of MARLA'S FACE.

CUT TO:

INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - SUNRISE

Jack sits up in bed, looks around the room.

INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING

Jack steps out of his room. The neighboring door is closed.

JACK (V.O.)
Tyler's door was closed. I'd been living here for two months and Tyler's door was never closed.

INT. BATHROOM - SAME

Jack stares into the TOILER, looking at FOUR USED CONDOMS.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

Jack sits on the table, eating breakfast, reading Reader's Digest. He hears FOOTSTEPS approaching.

JACK
You won't believe this dream I had last night.

MARLA walks in, straightening her dress, looks like she's been raped by a hurricane. Jack's jaw drops.

MARLA
Yeah, I can hardly believe anything about last night.

Marla goes to pour coffee. She takes a swig, GARGLES and SPITS it in the sink. she gives Jack a lascivious smile.

JACK
What--what are you doing here?

MARLA
What...?

JACK
This is my house, what are you doing in my house?

Marla stares at him a beat, then drops the cup in the sink.

MARLA
Fuck you.

Marla shoves open the door to the backyard and walks out. Before she can actually leave, she returns gets into the house again, grabs her satchel and then leaves. 

TYLER'S VOICE
Ha, ha! Ohh!

Jack turns and -- Tyler gets in the kitchen, staring after Marla. He's in his gummy flannel bathrobe. He grins at Jack and pours himself coffee.

TYLER
You've got some fucked up friends, I'm telling you! Limber though...silly coos. So, I come in last night, phone's off the hook. Guess who's on the other end.

JACK (V.O.)
I already knew the story before he told it to me.

INT. KITCHEN - LATE AFTERNOON (FLASHBACK)

MARLA'S VOICE
Have you ever heard a death rattle before?

Thru the archway: Tyler leans to look in, curious. Tyler enters, gently lifts the handset and listens.

MARLA'S VOICE
(from handset)
Do you think it'll live up to its name? Or it would just be a death...hairball?
(she coughs)
Prepare to evacuate soul...

Tyler smiles.

INT. MARLA'S BUILDING - 8TH FLOOR LANDING - LATE AFTERNOON (FLASHBACK)

Tyler, a wry smile on his face, ambles up the stairs, smoking a cigarette and looking at the rotting walls. He reaches at the top of the stairs and heads for Marla's room.

MARLA'S VOICE (CONTINUOUS)
Ten, nine, eight...

JACK (V.O.)
Now how could Tyler, off all people, think it was a bad think that Marla Singer was about to die?

MARLA'S VOICE (CONTINUOUS)
Five, four, three--

Tyler puts out his cigarette and knocks Marla's door.

MARLA'S VOICE (CONTINUOUS)
--oh, hung on.

Marla goes out, looks around. Marla's hand shoots out and grabs him...

INT. MARLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK)

Marla pulls Tyler inside and shuts the door. Her drugged eyes look all over him.

MARLA
You got here fast. Did I call you? Huh? Hey.

Marla staggers and sits on the bed. She slides off, along with the blanket and sheets, to the floor. Tyler laughs.

MARLA
The mattresses are all sealed in slippery plastic.

Tyler studies her with cynical curiosity, looks at a DILDO lying atop a dresser. Marla follows his gaze.

MARLA
Oh, don't worry. It's not a threat to you.

SIRENS and vehicles SCREECHING outside can be HEARD, doors opening and SLAMMING, running FOOTFALLS.

MARLA
Oh, fuck! Somebody called the cops!...

She gets to her feet.

INT. HALLWAY (FLASHBACK)

Tyler and Marla go out of her room. Marla tries to LOCK her door, but Tyler GRABS her toward the STAIRCASE. COPS and PARAMEDICS charge up with oxygen and medical kids. Marla and Tyler flatten against the wall to let them past. Tyler, playing the indifferent, dances.

COP
Hey -- Where's 513?

MARLA
(with a gentle voice, pointing)
End of the hall.

Tyler grabs her and they descend the stairs. The rescuers keep running.

MARLA
(calling after)
The girl who lived there used to be a charming, lovely girl. She's lost faith in herself.

COP
Miss Singer! Let us help!

MARLA
She's a monster!

COP
You have every reason to live!

MARLA
She's infectious human waste! Good luck trying to save her!

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Tyler makes coffee. Marla slouches against the refrigerator.

MARLA
If I fall asleep, I'm done for. You're gonna keep me up... all night.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING (RESUMING)

Tyler chuckles, shakes his head.

TYLER
Uh, fucking unbelievable!

JACK (V.O.)
He was obviously able to handle it.

Tyler stands across from Jack, gets a cigarette from a pack.

TYLER
You know what I mean, you fucked her.

JACK
No, I didn't.

TYLER
Never?

JACK
No.

TYLER
You're not into her, are you?

JACK
No, God, not at all.

JACK (V.O.)
I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct.

TYLER
You're sure? You can tell me.

JACK
Believe me, I'm sure.

JACK (V.O.)
Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brains.

TYLER
That's good, because she's a predator posing as the house pet. Stay away from that one.
(laughing)
And the shit that came out from this woman's mouth, I ain't never heard!

INT. TYLER'S ROOM - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Tyler smokes, post-coital. Marla lays down.

MARLA
My God! I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!

Tyler stares at her.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING (RESUMING)

TYLER
Uhh!

Tyler laughs, shakes his head. Jack's reading his Reader's Digest just a little too tight.

JACK (V.O.)
How could Tyler not go for that? The night before last he was splicing sex organs into "Cinderella."

JACK
Marla doesn't need a lover, she needs a fucking case worker.

TYLER
She needs a wash. And she's in love with sport-fucking.

JACK (V.O.)
She'd invaded my support groups, now she's invaded my home.

TYLER
Hey, hey, sit down... Now listen, I can't have you talking her about me--

JACK
Why would I ta--

TYLER
If you say anything about me, or what goes in this house to her or to anybody, we're done. Now promise me.

JACK
Ok.

TYLER
You promise?

JACK
Yeah, I promise.

TYLER
Promise.

JACK
I just said I promise! Wh--

TYLER
That was three times you promised.

Tyler gets up and leaves. Jack sits smoldering.

JACK (V.O.)
If only I had wasted a couple of minutes and gone to watch Marla Singer die, none of this would have happened.

INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jack lies calmly on his bed, reading his Reader's Digest. SOUNDS of SEX, THUMBS and CRASHES from beyond the wall.

MARLA'S VOICE
(muffles through wall)
Yeah! Ahh! Ohh! Harder! Harder! Harder!

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

SOUNDS of RAIN. Jack flips FUSES off, then walks upstairs.

JACK (V.O.)
I could've moved to another room, on the third floor -- where I might not have heard them. But I didn't.

MARLA'S VOICE
Oh, baby!

INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING - SAME

Jack walks, HEARS Marla SCREAM in orgasm. He reaches the landing. Tyler's door is ajar. Jack peeks in...Marla's legs are sprawled on the bed. The door PUSHES OPEN WIDER -- Tyler naked, stands CLOSE TO CAMERA.

TYLER
What are you doing?

Jack steps back.

JACK
Just...going to bed.

Tyler scratches his head, wears A RUBBER GLOVE.

TYLER
You want to finish her off?

JACK
Nah... No thanks you.

MARLA
I found the cigarettes.

Jack continues toward his room and Tyler closes the door.

MARLA
Who are you talking to?

TYLER
Shut up!

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Jack brushes his teeth.

JACK (V.O.)
I became the calm, little center of the world. I was the Zen master.

CLOSE UP - COMPUTER MONITOR

Haiku is BEING TYPED in a trendy, italicized font.

 "Worker bees can leave
                Even drones can fly away
                               The queen is their slave"

JACK (V.O.)
I wrote a little haiku poems.

INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY

Jack's clothes are PERMANENTLY STAINED WITH BLOOD. He sits in Zen pose, cigarette in mouth, finishes typing Haiku.

JACK (V.O.)
I e-mailed them to everyone.

He hits "SEND". Boss enters.

BOSS
Is that your blood?

JACK
Some of it, yeah.

Boss stares at Jack like he's from Mars.

BOSS
You can't smoke in here. Take the rest of the day off. Come back Monday with some clean clothes. Get yourself together.

INT. HALLWAY - SAME

Jack's leaving, looks like a war casualty, passing COWORKERS who coldly stare at him. His face is totally passive.

JACK (V.O.)
I got right in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are my bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened.

EXT. PAPER STREET - SUNSET

Jack walks toward the HOUSE.

JACK (V.O.)
You give up the condo life, give up all your flaming worldly possessions, go live in a dilapidated house in the toxic waste part of town...

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE ENTRANCE - SAME

Jack walks in. SOUNDS of VIOLENT SEX and a POLAROID CAMERA from upstairs. Pieces of PLASTER fall from the ceiling.

JACK (V.O.)
...and you have to come home to this.

INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING

Jack is without pants. He runs water in the sink, and scrubs at the blood stains with a tooth-brush. The PHONE RINGS. Marla and Tyler's voices are still HEARD. Jack answers it.

JACK
Hello?

INTERCUT WITH...

INT. POLICE STATION - OFFICE

A cop, DETECTIVE STERN, refers to a file.

DETECTIVE STERN
Yes. This is Detective Stern with the arson unit. We have some new information about the "incident" at your former condo.

Marla and Tyler cannot be heard now.

JACK
Yes?

DETECTIVE STERN
I don't know if you're aware -- but is seems that someone sprayed freon into your front door lock, then tapped it with a chisel to shatter the cylinder.

JACK
No, I wasn't aware of that at all.

JACK (V.O.)
I am Jack's Cold Sweat.

DETECTIVE STERN
Does this sound strange to you?

JACK
Uh, yes sir, strange, very strange.

Jack starts to sweat.

DETECTIVE STERN
The dynamite...

JACK
Dynamite?

DETECTIVE STERN
...left a residue of ammonium oxalate and potassium per chloride. Do you know what this means?

JACK
No, what does it mean?

DETECTIVE STERN
It means it was homemade.

JACK
I'm sorry...this is just coming as quite a shock to me, sir...

DETECTIVE STERN
See, whoever set this homemade dynamic could've blown out the pilot light days before the actual explosion. The gas was just a detonator.

JACK
Who could've done such a thing?

DETECTIVE STERN
I'll ask the questions.

TYLER
(whispering in Jack's ear)
Tell him...

Jack almost leaps out his skin, startled; looks to see Tyler standing right next to him.

TYLER
(overlap w/below)
"Tell him the liberator who destroyed my property has re-aligned my paradigm of perception".

DETECTIVE STERN
Excuse me, are you there?

JACK
I am listening, but it's a little hard to know what to make of all this.

DETECTIVE STERN
Have you recently made enemies with anyone who might have access to homemade dynamite?

JACK
Enemies?

TYLER
"I reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possession!"

Jack cups the receiving.

DETECTIVE STERN
Son, this is serious.

JACK
I know it's serious.

DETECTIVE STERN
I mean that.

JACK
Yes, it's very serious. Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me, the condo was my life! Okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, it was me!

JACK (V.O.)
I'd like to thank the Academy...

DETECTIVE STERN
Isn't this a not good time for you?

TYLER
Tell him you fuckin' did it!

JACK
(to Tyler)
Shhh!

TYLER
Tell him you blew it off! That's what he wants to hear.

Tyler goes upstairs

DETECTIVE STERN
Are you still there?

JACK
Wait. Are you saying that I'm a suspect?!

DETECTIVE STERN
No, no. I may have to talk to you a little further, how about let me know if you leave town, okay?

JACK
Okay.

Jacks hangs up. Jack turns away continues to scrub his pants. Marla's FOOTSTEPS can be HEARD coming downstairs...Jack really grinds the soap against the pants, splashing water. He turns, sees Marla enter. Marla lights a cigarette.

JACK (V.O.)
Except for their humping, Tyler and Marla were never in the same room. My parents pulled this exact act for years.

MARLA
The condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You...dance all night...and then you throw it away! The condom, I mean. Not the stranger.

Marla chuckles.

JACK
What?

MARLA
I got this dress at a thrift store for $1. 

JACK
It was worth every penny.

MARLA
(seductive)
It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, then tossed it.

Marla moves very close to Jack.

MARLA
Like a Christmas tree -- so special, then....

Jack becomes very aware of having no pants on, presses against the counter. Marla pulls her hemline further up. She leans in very close to Jack's ear, whispers hoarsely:

MARLA
(CONTINUED)
...bam -- it's on the side of the road, tinsel still clinging to it...Like sex crime victims, underwear inside-out, bound with electrical tape.

JACK
(coldly)
Well, then it suits you.

MARLA
You can borrow it sometime.

Marla backs away going UPSTAIRS.

TYLER (O.S.)
Get rid of her.

Jack turns to see Tyler going UPSTAIRS.

JACK
Why can't you get rid of her?

TYLER
Don't mention me.

Marla's FOOTSTEPS are coming DOWNSTAIRS. Jack looks to the archway, then back at -- Tyler's GONE. Marla enters looking for something on the junk strewn table.

JACK (V.O.)
I'm six years old again, passing messages between my parents.

JACK
I really think it's time you got out of here.

Marla ignores, still searching table, tossing things, pushing other things to the floor.

MARLA
Don't worry I'm leaving.

JACK
Not like we don't love your little visit.

Marla finds what she wanted, a pack of cigarettes. She move up into Jack's face.

MARLA
You're such a nutcase, I can't even begin to keep up.

As she exits the door, she sings "This Merry-Go-Round" from "Valley of the Dolls." Jack watches her trough the kitchen window.

JACK
Thanks, bye.

Jack turns. Tyler is behind him, chuckling.

TYLER
You kids...

JACK
Wh--Why do you still waste time with her?

TYLER
I'll say this about Marla: At least she's trying to hit bottom.

JACK
What, and I'm not?

TYLER
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

JACK
What are we doing tonight?

TYLER
Tonight we make soap.

JACK
Really?

TYLER
To make soap, first we render fat.

EXT. FENCED - IN BIOHAZARD WASTE DUMP SITE - NIGHT

Tyler and Jack jump off the fence. Tyler pulls Jack behind a DUMPSTER, one of DOZENS. FOOTSTEPS. A FLASHLIGHT BEAM. A silhouette of a SECURITY GUARD moves along the perimeter, flashlight first. He walks away.

MOVE BACK to Tyler and Jack, who emerge from hiding. 

TYLER
The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap, comes from humans...

JACK
Wait, what is this place?

TYLER
A liposuction clinic.

Tyler eagerly grabs the lid of the closest dumpster. From the dumpster, Tyler pulls out an industrial sized thick plastic bag full of ORANGE THICK LIQUID.

TYLER
Aha! Pay dirt! The richest creamiest fat in the world! Fat of the land!

TIME CUT: Tyler and Jack are back over the fence. Tyler is outside the fence and Jack's inside, throwing BAGS of fat to Tyler. One bag RIPS over the fence, spilling the goo down the chain-link fence. Jack slips and slides. Tyler tries to save it. Jack is wounded by the fence.

JACK
Oh, God! Oh!

TYLER
Get another one. 

As Tyler tries to take the ripped bag, he falls down.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Jack and Tyler each stir a boiling pot.

TYLER
As the fat renders, the tallow floats to the surface. Like in Boy Scouts.

JACK
I can imagine you as a Boy Scout.

TYLER
Keep stirring. Once the tallow hardens, we skim off a layer of glycerin. If you were to add nitric acid, you got nitroglycerin. If you were to add sodium nitrate and a dash of sawdust, you got dynamite. Yeah, with enough soap we could blow just about anything.

JACK (V.O.)
Tyler was full of useful information.

TYLER
Now, ancient people found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river. You know why?

JACK
Why?

TYLER
Human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. Bodies burnt. Water speeded through the wood ashes to create lye.

Tyler grabs a can.

TYLER
This is lye -- the crucial ingredient. The lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river. May I see your hand, please?

Tyler licks his lips until they're gleaming wet. He takes Jack's hands and KISSED the back of it.

JACK
What is this?

Tyler pours a bit of the flaked lye onto Jack's hand.

TYLER
This is chemical burn.

Jack's whole body JERKS. Tyler holds tight to Jack's hand and arm. Tears well in Jack's eyes; his face tightens.

TYLER
It will hurt more than you've ever been burned and you will have a scar.

Jack looks--the burn is swollen, glossy, in the shape of Tyler's kiss. Jack's face spasms.

JACK (V.O.)
If guided meditation worked for cancer, it could work for this.

SHOT OF A GREEN MAPLE LEAF, GLISTENING WITH DEW. RESUME:

Tyler looks as Jack's glazed and detached eyes.

TYLER
Stay with the the pain, don't shove to center. 

JACK
No!

TYLER
The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes. Like the first monkeys shot into space. Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing.

JACK (V.O.)
I tried not to think of the words "searing" or "flesh". 

SHOT OF A FOREST, IN GENTLE SPRING RAINFALL. RESUME:

Jack, snapping back, tries to jerk his hand away. Tyler keeps holding of it and their arms KNOCK UTENSILS off the table. Tyler JERKS Jack's hands, getting Jack's attention.

TYLER
Stop it! This is your pain -- this is your burning hand. It's right here! Look at it.

JACK
I'm going to my cave. I'm going to my cave to find my power animal!

SHOT OF THE INSIDE OF JACK'S FROZEN ICE CAVE. RESUME:

Tyler JERKS Jack's hand again. Jack re-focuses on Tyler...

TYLER
No, don't deal with this the way those dead people do. Come on!

JACK
I get the point, ok,  please!

TYLER
No, what you're feeling is premature enlightenment.

SHOT OF INSIDE THE ICE CAVE - ON MARLA, LYING NAKED UNDER A FUR COAT, TURNING HER HEAD TO LOOK TOWARD US. RESUMING:

Jack tries to pull his hand free. Tyler won't let go. Jack's eyes glaze over again. Tyler SLAPS Jack's face, regaining his attention.

TYLER
This is the greatest moment of your life, man, and you're off somewhere--

Jack tries to speak, whiny from pain.

TYLER
Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. And if our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?

SHOT OF INSIDE THE ICE CAVE - NAKED MARLA PULLS JACK DOWN ON TOP OF HER - JACK IS ABOUT TO KISS HER BUR CIGARETTE SMOKE COMES FROM MARLA'S MOUTH - JACK COUGHS. RESUME:

Tyler SLAPS Jack's face again.

TYLER
Listen to me. You have to consider the possibility that God doesn't like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen...

JACK
It isn't?

TYLER
We don't need Him.

JACK
We don't, we don't, I agree.

TYLER
Fuck damnation, man. Fuck redemption. We are God's unwanted children. So be it!

Jack looks Tyler -- they lock eyes. Jack does his best to stifle his spasms of pain, his body a quivering, coiled knot. He bolts toward the sink, but Tyler holds it.

TYLER
Listen ,You can run water over your hand and make it worse, or -- look at me -- or you can use vinegar to neutralize the burn. 

JACK
Please let me have some, please.

But first you have to give up. First, you have to know, with no fear, know that someday you are going to die. Until you know that, you are useless.

Jack spasms with a shiver of pain...

JACK
You don't know how this feels!

Tyler shows Jack a LYE-BURNED KISS SCAR on his own hand. Tears begin to drip from Jack's eyes. 

TYLER
It's only after we lost everything that we are free to do anything.

JACK
Okay...

Tyler grabs a bottle of VINEGAR -- pours it over Jack's wound. Jack closes his eyes, holds his hand,...slumps to the floor.

TYLER
Congratulations. You're one step closer to hitting bottom.

INT. BARNEY'S - DAY

Jack and Tyler, wait as a BUYER, Suzie, fills out forms. There are bars of "The Paper Street Soap Company" soap on the counter. Jack looks life he's half-expecting to get arrested. His hand is BANDAGED.

JACK (V.O.)
Tyler sold the soap to department stores at twenty dollars a bar. God knows what they charged.

SUZY
This is the best soap.

TYLER
Why, thank you, Suzie.

Tyler smiles and turns to Jack.

JACK (V.O.)
It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY

Jack sits at his desk. Boss enters.

JACK (V.O.)
He was wearing his yellow tie. I didn't even wear a tie to work anymore.

Boss holds a piece of PAPER and starts reading it.

BOSS
"The first rule of fight club, is you don't talk about fight club?"

Jack stares stoically.

JACK (V.O.)
I'm half asleep again. I must've left the original in the copy machine.

BOSS
"The second rule of fight club..--." Is this yours?

JACK
Huh?

BOSS
Pretend you're me. Make a managerial decision. You find this. What would you do?

JACK
Well, I got to tell ya...I'd be very, very careful who I talked to about this. Because the person who wrote that...is dangerous.

Jack rises slowly.

JACK
And this button-down oxford cloth psycho, might just s